Ladders

If you're just renting an apartment, you can probably get by without a ladder just fine. Once you become a homeowner, however, a good ladder will be extremely useful. When I was growing up, most step-ladders were wooden and got wobbly with age. This infirmament typically manifested with the steps and vertical supports cracking. Today stepladders are commonly made of fiberglass. One of these will easily last decades.

The main thing to consider when you buy a ladder is how tall you need it to be. That is obviously going to be a function of what you're going to use it for. Almost certainly it will depend on the height of your ceilings. Relative to your ceiling, there are three main heights of interest: the heights of hanging lights, the height of the ceiling itself for replacing flush-mounted light fixtures, and higher than the ceiling (for getting into the attic space

If you get a ladder that allows you to touch your ceiling while standing on a safe step (usually one below the one labeled do not stand on or above this step) , that will let you change all the lightbulbs in your house, including the flush-mounted ones typically found in closets and bathrooms. That will also let you install new light fixtures and/or ceiling fans, and put decorations on the top of your cabinets, if you have such things.

The only reason to get a taller ladder is if you're going to need to get into the air space above the ceiling. I typically get in there to run wiring for speakers and networks, to do roof leak repair (very rare!), once to get rid of a small rat problem (they climbed trees to enter the attic space via rooftop air vents. The answer was D-Con to remove the current population and to trim the trees so they could not climb up that way anymore), and to do repairs to the HVAC. If you're not going to be undertaking such advanced projects, you probably don't need an extra tall ladder. And, actually, I didn't get a taller ladder either. I just carefully stand on the very top of the ladder (which is definitely not safe) and pull myself up into the airspace by grabbing on to the joists. This technique works for me because I'm a strong climber and can pull myself up using only my arms.. I'm similarly able to lower myself back down to the ladder hanging on only by my hands. This is obviously not a technique that is recommended or safe for the average person.

If you're going to want to get onto your roof for advanced outdoor projects (leak repairs and, you know, rooftop rat issues), you're probably going to want to get an aluminum extension ladder. This can apparently also be used for traversing crevasses the next time you're on a glacier, although I haven't personally tried that. Yet.

I also get up onto our roof every year to hang Christmas lights. This is much faster than hanging from the ground, as you don't need to keep moving the ladder. It's also much more dangerous. It is really easy to fall off roofs, even if you do it for a living. So, don't go up there unless you have a really good understanding of friction, a working knowledge of your personal center of masses, know how to stand on a roof, how to step on a roof, how not to crawl backwards off the edge of a roof, and how not to step on a normal-looking tile that is actually loose and serves as your personal sled down the roof and over the edge.

I read an anecdote once in Reader's Digest about a construction worker who lost his balance and slid off a roof. "This is the part I hate about this job," he allegedly quipped. From my proximity to the construction trade and similar events, I'm not sure there's really enough time for such wit before you hit the ground. Usually there’s time for about half of an expletive before impact.

I was on an extension ladder once when it slipped out from beneath me. We had placed the ladder on a tarp to ensure that paint did not drip on the driveway. That proved slippery enough for the ladder feet to slide out once I got to the top. Luckily I was able to grab onto the railing when it happened, so I just had to hang there shouting for someone to please put the ladder back into place. Yeah, that's how I spent my teenage summers. Good times.

Apart from my time learning to build houses without using the safety equipment that is common practice these days, I also had the good fortune to serve as a theatrical lighting technician for severals years in high school and college. These times taught me a lot about how to move ladders around, both horizontally and vertically.

Here's a heads up: ladders are very good for damaging things while you are carrying them around. Even though you can't see them, apparently they stick out quite a bit behind you when you're carrying them horizontally.

When you carry them vertically, that helps the horizontal blind spot problem, but you're going to have a hard time keeping an eye on both their tip high up in the air and where you are walking. Move slowly and expect collateral damage as you gain expertise.

All kinds of ladders are dangerous, especially when you're standing on them. The technical head of our drama department at college used to come in and see me standing on a ladder in a particular fashion and just shake his head. He used this gesture to indicate I was not using the safest of practices, but he wasn't going to say anything because I was working for minimum wage and putting up lights faster than anyone else.

But, some general safety tips.

Always face the ladder. You should never turn around so your back is to the ladder when you are standing on it.

When reaching out to the side, you really shouldn't. But, because there are times when you are going to anyways, you want to keep your center of mass (say, your belt buckle) between the vertical uprights of your ladder. Now, technically you can reach further to the side by stretching one of your legs way out in the opposite direction. This is quite dangerous, and I only do it sometimes when I really am feeling confident in my abilities (i.e. always) You, however, definitely should not do this.

Ladders can fall in really interesting ways, and by interesting, I mean painful.

Do not leave any tools or parts on top of the ladder. This is an easy mistake to make. You leave some screws or a hammer on top of the ladder and climb down to get a different tool or more parts. You get distracted or perhaps interrupted. You come back to the ladder and think "while I'm down here, I might as well move this over here to get closer to that thing I'm working on." Then you get to experience a heavy rain. So, each time you climb down the ladder, be sure to take down any items you've set down. Open paint buckets are an excellent thing not to leave on top of a ladder. They actually sell ladder accessories that let you store tons of tools on the top. You are tempting fate if you populate one of these with sharp and pointy tools.

If you're using a step ladder, always make sure the two hinges are fully open and in their locked position.

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All ladders need solid footing. For step ladders, this means four on the floor. No wobbling. For extension ladders, the two feet need to be solidly on the ground with the ladder pointing up right. It is easy to have a ladder point upright with just one foot on the ground, only for it to shift sideways as you climb up it. If you are high enough up, it is very straightforward for the ladder to keep on rotating sideways until you are on the ground. This brief but eventful journey may be made more exciting by the top of ladder coming off the roofline and falling in the other direction towards the house.

When using an extension ladder, make sure the top of the ladder sticks up well above whatever you're resting it on. But don't climb too far, or your weight above the pivot point could create a disaster.

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When using extension ladders, make sure the bottom isn't going to slide out. Usually there's a sticker telling you when the angle is right.

Never stand on the ladder and on another thing at the same time. This can cause the ladder to slide out away from you.

Ideally, always be thinking of what you're going to grab onto when the ladder slides out from under you. If the answer is there is nothing to grab on to, this is an indication that you must be extra cautious.

Despite what you may infer from my narratives below, I have never been injured when working on ladders. May you have similar fortune!